Okay, I am Committed...Or I SHOULD Be Committed..

I just finished filling my weekly medication container. You know the kind...the plastic with the flip top lids for each day of the week...I am sure you have seen one at your 85 year old grandmother's house. Anyway, I just filled mine for the next 7 days. Starting tomorrow I am taking my new heart medication. I was suppose to start a week ago, but have been procrastinating big time. I am so terrified about taking this new medication. I honestly have a fear that I can die from this switch. Why? Why am I so paranoid? Why do I have to catastrophize every little medical thing in my life? Okay...so here is what I am afraid could happen...

1. Die

2. Go into a scary arrythmia and have to go to ER to be converted

3. Have more tachycardia and palpitations (that the med won't work as well as the one I am on now)

4. Heightened anxiety (have already been told this is quite likely)

5. That I will gain weight


Okay. Those are my fears. I need to TRY to be more positive. Say things like

1. You will feel so much better on this new med

2. You will be able to breathe easier

3. You will have a ton more energy

4. You will be able to exercise more

5. You will lose weight easier

6. You will have less palpitations

7. You will not notice any change in anxiety


So, why are those harder for me to accept?? Ugghhh..I really annoy myself.

If I live, I will let you know how it goes. If I don't well, love ya miss ya.