King Kong (2005) - A Review

Before reading this review of Peter Jackson’s King Kong (2005), it is important to know a few things about me in order to understand the significance of some of my points.
First of all, I have never, ever, even once in my life seen any version, new or old, of King Kong. I never read any books about it, comics, magazines, nothing whatsoever. I knew some of the basics…big giant ape somehow ends up in New York, falls for a blonde chic, and he ends up dying on top of the Empire State Building. Basically, that is all I knew.
Secondly, I never have seen any of The Lord of the Rings movies and know absolutely nothing of them or Peter Jackson’s talent beside the fact that my brother, an incurable dork at heart, has tortured me over and over with his incessant bickering about ‘having’ to see these movies. I will, I will, I promise.
The last thing that bears some significance is the fact that I take drugs…prescriptions for anxiety and a fast heart rate. Both of these drugs not only calm me by blocking adrenaline, but also slow my heart rate considerably. This is only important to know due to the fact that during these 3 hours of watching King Kong, my heart raced the entire time regardless of my medicated blood stream.
When I first saw the trailer for this movie, I knew it looked worth watching. I thought it was likely a promising adventure. The effects appeared to be fascinating. I figured I would enjoy it. All of the mentioned proved to be true, and then some…and some…and some…and some. One thing about me I forgot to reveal earlier is the secret of my thimble sized bladder. Yes, I have to pee a lot. You all now know this fun fact about me. Anyway, there was not one single moment during this film that I could have spared 2 minutes to run to the bathroom and whiz. Seriously, this movie was jammed with back to back action and I didn’t want to miss a minute of it.
The breaths in between the adventurous, hair pulling scenes came in the form of basic human…and simian…emotion. When first hearing about a movie where a beautiful woman and an ape fall in love, I thought to myself ‘Okay, WHATEVER!’. But watching the connection, the compassion, and the mutual lonely sadness between the two made so much sense of the ridiculous story. I mean really, what woman doesn’t want someone to protect them despite grave danger? Who wouldn’t crave for someone to stand tall, pound their chest, and scream out “She’s mine!”? And what male wouldn’t dream of a pretty blonde to juggle and dance for him? Really, it all makes perfect sense.
The pure, unadulterated heart from which this movie beats is what makes this one of the best stories ever. The hair-raising, striking, and beautiful direction, editing, and effects made this one of the films ever. Brav-freakin-o!!
There is one more thing I would like to add. I would like to make a formal apology to the guy seated in front of me. I am sure that my snot sniffling sobbing and my long abdominal trying not to cry out loud breaths were quite annoying. For this, I apologize.